The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times We think in language. All Rights Reserved. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ', 'The planet is fine. The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. 111. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. Others see it half empty. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. 73. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Thats just common sense! ~ (George Carlin). Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp messages, wishes, Some national parks have long waiting lists for. Webwelcome to another episode of George Carlin quotes what George Carlin Quotes, What I Think About Politics. Its perfect. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. He was one of the first to know it was all bullshit propagated by government and corporate elites. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Dont give your money to the church. Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. The challenge is to find it. ~ (George Carlin). Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both f***ed. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Golfer Tattoos His Dads Advice on His Arm How Those Last Words Help Him Focus, Time Flies: 29 Couples and Families That Mastered the Art of Recreating Old Photos, This Couple Bought and Revamped an Abandoned Laundromat Now Its a Thriving Community Hub With Free Laundry Days, Woman Buys 3-Year-Old a New Bike After She Finds Out His Was Stolen Only Later Does Everyone Find Out Her Real Story. 70. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 79. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. 119. It creates a hostile work environment. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. 28. The challenge is to find it. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ~ (George Carlin). I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~ (George Carlin). If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. 44. Laugh until you gasp for breath. ~ (George Carlin). Carlins incisive approach and meaningful insight was thought provoking, providing a framework for introspection, prompting us to think out of the box and to challenge ourselves and our belief systems.Here we have collected for you the most inspirational and insightful quotes of this provocative and counterculture comedian to share with loved ones in order to brighten their day and make them smile, but also to enhance your views about the world we live in and make you see things from a different perspective for a better life! 90. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. 83. This is what we have to offer. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. In America, anyone can become president. Garbage out. They should be giving their money to you. Thats the problem. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Copyright Twitchy.com/Salem Media. Language is the landscape of thought. ~ (George Carlin). He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. 78. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? Thats the problem." 95. But once youre born, youre on your own. Religion is like a pair of shoes. WebThis is the best we can do folks. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. The people are fucked. Heres all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ", Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other peoples stuff., "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. 37. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. ", "Never underestimate the power ofstupid people in large groups. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The Religion and Political Views of George Carlin - Hollowverse Women are crazy. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? George Carlin Quotes George Denis Patrick Carlin or better known as George Carlin is a Grammy Award-winning American solo comedian, actor and writer. by Libertarian Country Carlin is a philosopherwho follows logicTo claim he is left or right is obtuse. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. Deal with it. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. 105. And America is not alone with this sort of delusions. The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. 101. 21. Teach them to question everything. 3. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? It can help you a lot. If not, no matter." Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? 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